In a sudden shocking announcement, Hasbro has affirmed that plans to bring the much requested figures based on Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker to stores have been nixed.

In a special Customcon press conference, the following was revealed.

"It's not that we cannot afford to release the figures, neither is it a fear of lack of demand. And no, it's definately not because we *ahem* are run by monkeys. No. You see, we were committed to trying our best to push these things out, but the top powers that be have decreed that there's no point." In an official statement from the board of Directors, Hasbro has announced that "it is completely NOT worth our while to try to cater to DC fans. While there are some loyal fans we would like to thank, the majority of fanboys out there are whiney, complaining and never satisfied. We made a Mad hatter for them, we gave them an Alfred, and when no one wanted to sell them we did our best to push the 4th wave of JLA. But was that good enough? Nooooo! They still demanded that our fair company should be burned to the ground so that DC Direct can make Batman figures. Comments run rampant at the Raving Toy Maniac Buzzboard about *ahem* [Hasblow] and how we issue nothing but repaints. So, you want Return of the Joker figures? Well, Fig you, Mr fanboy! You ain't getting them, bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Instead, you'll be getting...

STREET DANDY BATMAN - When Batman needs to infiltrate the elitist Gotham sphere, he needs his STREET DANDY disguise so he can blend right in with the guests at the Ambassador's ball. Now he can stop Poison Ivy from poisoning the after-dinner mints!

KARATE BASHIN' BATMAN - Batman is a man at the tip of human perfection. Not only has he spent years training his mind, he's also a master of the martial arts! As he trains Karate in his authentic gi, he must concentrate in order to break down a mighty concrete wall with one blow! Hai-ya!

CRASH READY BATMAN - One of Batman's most powerful items in his arsenal is his sleek Batmobile. He upgrades them so very often, and safety is always the first thing on his mind! Batman always makes sure his Batmobile's completely safe by testing it with his unique crash dummy Batman android! Don't worry if his arms or head fall off; better him than Batman!

XMAS ESPIONAGE JOKER - Ho Ho Ho, No! The Joker has hatched a new plan to disguise himself as a shopping mall Santa in order to trick little children of their pocket money! In his spiffy red coat and realistic beard it's impossible to tell who's jolly and who's just green. Only Batman and Robin can put a stop to this dastardly fiend!

DELUXE SETS

JURASSIC NEANDERTHAL BATMAN w/ ROBIN the triceratops wonder - The legend of Batman is beyond time! Even in the days of the caveman there is one who rises up to defend the weak and useless! The fearful visage of the bat, coupled with the primate like strength of his powerful muscles make him a feared opponent! If that wasn't enough, he also has his trusty Bat-ter-bone and ROBIN the potty-trained baby triceratops to aid him!

AVENGING ANGEL BATMAN - Even beyond the realm of humanity the Batman continues to fight for justice! Commissioned by HIM to exact retribution on those who have walked the wrong path, AVENGING ANGEL BATMAN is always watchful with his sound and light flashing eyes! And when evil is afoot, you can be sure he will soar like a bullet to defend humanity with his heavenly sword of morals and the unmatched power of his magical energy club!

Many...er, thanks to our photographer Darren.